Wednesday, 23 January 2019

Day 02- Working as a Wedding Planning Team

Day 02- Working as a Wedding Planning Team
17 Aug

(upbeat music) – Ahoy! It is day two of the Bridechilla 30 days of wedding planning I'm Aleisha

Ahoy? Who says ahoy? I'm Aleisha, the host of the Bridechilla Podcast and founder of Bridechilla Don't know why I always have to say 'Bridechilla' I say it like actually that way because it's becoming 'bigger than Ben-Hur' as my grandfather would say, and it's just really nice to be able to connect with new Bridechillas and spread the Bridechilla word Now, I promised today, being day two, that we would talk all about how to connect and be on the same page as a couple and make sure that you are both planning the same wedding, because so often, I hear on the podcast people saying, "My partner doesn't want to be involved "They're not interested

"Why don't they want to be involved in the wedding planning? "We want to be planning a wedding together" And often I go back and say, "Did you, "per chance "Did you have a conversation about what you both wanted?" This might seem really obvious, but so many people just start planning without actually sitting down with a glass of wine or a bloody, tumbler full of straight vodka, and actually saying, "Hey lover, "lover

" Ew Not ew, but, you know people that call each other 'lover' in public Blech "Hey, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, fiancé "What sort of wedding do you think you might "like to have?" And you'd be surprised that the answers are sometimes not what people expected

It's sort of one of those discussions that you think, oh we had that We already talked about that before, and often you go, "Did we? "I don't even know if my partner's very interested in "all of my wedding hopes and dreams, "because we've never talked about it" Often weddings, and I'm really trying to put a stop to this, but often weddings are seen as the lady's grand final The 'lady's day', where she comes up with all of the decisions It's all about her and her hopes and dreams, and all that sort of shit, and it really annoys me, because a wedding is about unifying a team

It's about saying we're going to be together We agree that we really want to make a life together or give it a red hot go, and we will put up with, (nonsense noises) We will put up with each other's shit, (laughing) and make it work and have a great time And that's what it should all be about So I actually think so many of these weird feeling down the track where people feel like the other partner's not interested, a lot of the time, it comes from the fact that you're just planning one person's wedding, and if you had maybe come to an agreement or at least spit balled some ideas together, the other person maybe really digging it Of course there are going to be, I don't want to genderf-y these because Bridechilla is all about everyone getting married, and I don't want to make this a man versus woman thing, because it's absolutely not what this is

There are lots of same sex couples that are in exactly the same position, so you know, we're not adding this to being heteronormative or anything We're just saying this is a situation that often one partner has been 'dreaming' about their wedding or has had a Pinterest board ready for the last 10 years, and the other one's just like, "eh, I haven't really thought about it" So, in the Bridechilla Field Guide, my wedding planning filler-outable guide, I have created this I've solved this problem for you Here it is

It's page five Questions to ask each other This is simple shit that a lot of people just don't do Here's a couple for you and then you can buy the book for the rest What are both of your non-negotiables? When it comes to planning the day, potentially there are things that you will not get married without

Hopefully the answer is the other person But your non-negotiables Here are some examples Good photography Perhaps you don't care for flowers and the other partner does

Your partner, not the other partner Maybe your partner is really in to live music, and they got a band in mind, and you're like, "I don't give a shit about a band, but I really want a $20,000 dress" These are things that you're going to have to talk about and come to a compromise, especially, and it doesn't mean Compromise doesn't mean bad by the way It just means getting on each other's page Same page These are things that when you work together and following a budget together, and working with vendors together The experience will be so much more empowering and fabulous for you both as a couple and a partnership, and you won't feel like you having to be the schoolma'am or telling your partner that they're not picking up, they're picking up their weight in making it all

A comfortable fun time for you as a partnership and not feeling shit about it So, what are the three elements that are important to you Atmosphere? Food? Amazing music? This is simple stuff

There it is You can buy this guide at bridechillastorecom The Link will be somewhere here What are some of the things that you have learned about your partner in having these conversations? Maybe you haven't had it yet, and maybe tonight or this morning or whenever you next see your partner, you'll go (clapping), "Hey!" Even if you're six months into wedding planning "Is there anything that we're not including that you would really like to include?" Or, "Is there anything that we are including that you think "is stupid?" You'll be surprised Open up, share, get out there, and make sure you listen to the Bridechilla Podcast

I've created over 30 episodes Not 30, 300! Am I on drugs? I've created over 300 episodes of the show That's a lot of episodes That's why I said 30 300

That's a lot Covering everything from mother-in-laws to weaves I genuinely have I love talking about weddings I love talking about people and helping people keep their chill

Thanks so much for watching Tomorrow let me check what I'm talking about tomorrow (gasping) What comes first, the venue or the budget or the guest list? Oh my good Lord There's a lot to unpack there, lot to unpack So make sure you tune in, subscribe, and I'll see you tomorrow

Happy days (upbeat music)

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